It's Mother's Day...

Today is a day to celebrate Mothers.   I have read some "open letters" (usually directed to Pastors) floating around out there in cyber land, that basically talk about how "hurtful" Mother's day is to women who have not been able to have children for this reason or that.  I understand their points, and I can see that for some that might be a real problem.  BUT, then I started thinking, wow, we live in such a self-centered, egotistical world, that people, who proclaim to be "Christians" (I mean all of these "letters" are supposedly written by "church going women") can't for one day, get their thoughts off of themselves, and think of someone else that they honor and admire.

I mean all of us have a Mother.  Maybe you don't know your Mom, maybe she abandoned you at birth, and God never saw fit to bless you with a "forever mom".   BUT, you still had a mother, and if you are alive today, that means she cared enough about you to carry you and deliver you and not abort you.  So thank God for that!   If God has blessed you with a "forever mom", than praise Him for that, and for the love that he put in her heart for you.

All of us have countless women in our lives who have "mothered us" in one way or another, thank God for each of those women.  If God has not blessed you with children of your own, who has he brought into your life for you to mentor and bless?  There are always girls and women younger than ourselves, that we are to teach.  (Titus 2:3)

You can say that I don't understand, because not only do I know my Mother.  She is a wonderful godly woman, who has loved me unconditionally for 53 years and taught me to love God and others.   God has also saw fit to bless my life with a wonderful husband and 3 beautiful daughters by birth and 3 sweet children through adoption.  Now, I have the incredible blessing of being a Nana to 9 sweet and amazing grandchildren.  So my heart if full of the love and joy of motherhood.  So no, I don't always understand the feelings and emotions that others are feeling.

I am thankful that today is NOT about me!  IT is all about the grace and mercy of God and the women that He has called to be Mothers in one way or another.  It is about honoring those women that have sacrificed and loved.  That have taught and trained.  That have prayed for and nursed.  That have been pooped on, puked on and spat on, BUT, who loved on.  Who NEVER gave up on their kids, nor on God who they knew had a plan and purpose for it all.

So if you were in church this morning and the Pastor asked for all the mothers present to stand, I hope instead of feeling left out and sad because God hasn't blessed you with the gift of motherhood, if that is the case, that you joined the rest of the congregation in celebrating all the Mothers there.

Happy Mother's Day!

Seeking God's Perspective...

I have been working my way slowly through the "Experiencing God" Bible study by Henry Blackaby.   This is not my first time to go through this particular study, but it is the first time to do it in English.  God has been using this study to point out areas in my life, where my thinking has just been wrong, or distorted.

This morning, I find myself at another one of those places.  Physically I'm exhausted.  I have found myself at a point, where I get overwhelmed at the thought of just adding one more thing to my plate.  I have walked this Christian life for a long time and I know that God does not burden me down with things that will overwhelm and exhaust me.  I know that his burden is easy and load is light.  So then the thoughts start, why am I feeling this way?  I must have picked up burdens and loads that God never intended for me to carry... what are they?

Today in my Bible study, I read this line and it has been reverberating in my mind, "Only the Father has the right to initiate a divine work." Whoa...  is my trying to live up to the expectations of what everyone else thinks needs to be happening, where I have started to pick up burdens and loads that my Father NEVER intended me to carry?

Why exactly are we having a Mother's Day breakfast, Sunday morning?  Is the purpose "out reach" or is it just because we always do it and everyone expects us to do it?   Why do we have to have something to give away at the breakfast?  Is is because handing out a bookmark to all the ladies present, will in someway lead them to Christ?  Or is it just because we always hand out something, and everyone will be expecting it?  We've been taking photos of Moms and their families present on Mother's Day, almost since we arrived in the country 24 years ago.  Why?  Because it is what everyone expects us to do it?  Does anyone ask to help?  Does anyone even wonder who pays for it?  Do we even get a "Thanks for doing that?" The last few years, the time has been full of stress, and people getting upset because the line is longer than they want it to be, or they are trying to cut in line because their time is way more important than anyone else and they can't possibly wait their turn....  I don't really resent the time taking the photos or even paying to have them developed, but I am starting to question, what is the purpose and is God really being honored and glorified, and families coming to know Christ, because we are taking photos on Mother's Day?

These thoughts aren't just centered on the activities of this week-end.  I've used them as an example because they are what are going on right now.  I have been convicted the last weeks, that I spend way too much time trying to "dream up" what I can do for the Father, and then asking him to bless it.   Another statement from the "Experiencing God" Bible Study, "Jesus did not have to guess what to do.  Jesus did not have to dream up what He could do for the Father." What exactly did Jesus do in his ministry?   He looked to see where the Father was at work, and He joined the Father there.   Instead of "dreaming up" what I can do for God, I need to make sure that Jesus Christ is Lord of my life.  I need to watch and see what He is doing and where He is working and adjust my life, my plans and my goals to HIM.  My life needs to be at His disposal - where He is working - so He will accomplish His purposes through me.   (Experiencing God, Unit 6, Day 2)

God NEVER intended us to be overwhelmed, stressed out, and exhausted...  When we are following Him and walking with Him, he has promised that if we take his yoke upon us, the burden is easy, and the load is light.  He has promised Peace that passes all understanding.  He has promised joy in the sorrow.

"Bendecidas para Bendecir" is Off the Ground!!

There is so much I could say about how this morning went, but I think for this post, I'm going to just let the photos tell the story... What a blessing to be here serving the Lord, and to be used by God to be his hands and feet.  To have the privilege to share the love of Christ with others.  Thank you to EVERYONE who supports and/or prays for the ministry here in Manta, Ecuador!!  God is working in this place!

Friday morning we filled boxes and bags, ready to hand out on Saturday morning. 

Each household represented would receive a box full of food, 

and a bag of fresh veggies.

Praying together before people arrived. 

Waiting for their turn to be "checked-in"

We had the opportunity to talk with and pray with each person.

These need no explanation...

God is working!!!

It is pretty amazing, exciting and scary when you see God working and moving!!  Amazing, because even after all these years of walking with the Lord, to think that He would invite me to join Him in his work still floors, humbles and amazes me!   Exciting, because you KNOW that when God is working, incredible things are going to happen!  Scary, because while God ALWAYS makes it clear where he is working and what he wants you to do, He rarely, reveals to you HOW he is going to accomplish it all through you!

So here I sit this morning.   100% convinced that God is at work and opening doors of opportunity for us, yet trying hard NOT to get paralyzed by all the fear for trying to figure out HOW it is going to happen.

Yesterday Cecy, who works with me in leading the Women's Ministry at our church, and Cielito, the coordinator for the Bolsas de Bendición ministry, went to one of the local Maternity Clinics.  The purpose of the visit was to follow up a lead we had been given about giving out our bags to the new moms.  The director at first was a little leery and wanted to know if they were advertising for a particular brand of diapers.  When they assured her no, and explained what we are trying to do, she welcomed them to come.  Because this clinic does not do C-sections, (which a majority of the women here end up having), she told them that they usually only have about 5 or 6 new moms there at a time.  BUT then she said, I would love for you to come on the day we offer vaccinations, for the new babies.  We will have anywhere from 10 to 25 show up.  If you would come on that day, I would give you opportunity to speak to the Moms about spiritual things!   Then you could give out your bags!!

Then she said, another group I would really like you to come and visit, is a group of Moms whose babies, (we are talking 1 to 3 year olds) are malnourished.  If you would come, and talk to them about good nutrition, and you could also discuss spiritual things with them, and then give them a small gift.

OK, WOW!!!!   When an unsaved person, tells you they would love for you to come and speak about spiritual things with a group of moms they are working with, opening the door to give you time and opportunity to do it, you know that is GOD working!!   So what are we going to do about it?

I just sent $80 more to the lady overseeing the purchase of fabric and the sewing of the bags and receiving blankets.  We are going to try and get 50 bags made in the next week to 2 weeks.  Right now we have the money to do this and to even purchase the extra stuff we are lacking for the bags.  It cost us $86 to make the first 25 bags...  I had given her $80 a week ago to start making the next 25.

I look at this class of 40 ladies, none of them rich, in fact by US standards just about everyone of them would be considered poor, or at the least lower middle class.  They are giving monthly to support a precious little girl in Uganda, through our partnership with Mountain View Chapel and their Victory 1:27 ministry.  They are donating food stuffs for the new "Bendecidos para Bendecir" food pantry.  They are donating supplies to fill the bags, and a weekly offering to help pay for the sewing of the bags... At present we have collected enough money to making about 75 bags.  That is using money that was collected over the last year for Women's Ministry.   So when I think about this open door and the opportunity that the Lord is obviously giving us, it is hard not to get paralyzed by the  fear of "How are we going to keep this going?"

This morning in my quiet time, I read these verses...

Amos 3:7,  For the Lord GOD does nothing without revealing his secret to his servants the prophets.

Isaiah 41:10, fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:12, For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you."

Luke 6:38, give and it will be given to you.  Good measure pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap.  For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.

What I KNOW right now...

1.  is that God has revealed to us where He is working right now, and HE has asked us to step up and   join Him there.

2.  God has told me to not be afraid!  To trust Him, that He is the one holding my hand.  He is the one who will provide, He is the one who will bring it to pass.

3.  He has asked me to be generous with what He has given so far.  I'm not to "sit" on what I have, and dole it out, because that way, I know we can do this ministry in this "small way" for a few months....  No, I need to give and use what HE has provided, and trust Him to supply for next month!

Thanks for riding along with me in this journey!   Please keep the work here in Manta in your prayers and especially these not opportunities.   If you would like to be involved in ANY way, please send me a message.   You can leave a comment here and I will get back to you.

Blessings,
Joy

Abandonment... It' as BIG deal!

I never thought much about abandonment, or the consequences of it, before we adopted our children. I lived a very stable and secure childhood, and I believe that I probably took that incredible blessing for granted.  Even after dating and marrying my husband, who had a few rough patches in his early life, the meaning of abandonment and the lasting affects it has on one who has suffered it, never really got on my radar screen.

In 2003, we had the amazing blessing of adopting our first son.  He was a beautiful baby of 14 months, and I was totally oblivious to the fact that just the facts of his first 14 months of life had left indelible scars that we would never be able to pretend, just didn't happen.   We had read no books.  Why would we?  We had pretty successfully raised 3 daughters already, so felt pretty experienced in this whole "parenting" role.  NEVER in my wildest dreams did I anticipate the scars that abandonment had left on his little heart and mind.

We worked hard, to understand...truth be told, God in his great mercy and grace, guided our steps even when we didn't know we needed guiding.  Big example, we had no idea, about the importance of family bonding, and had made plans to return to the States for a year furlough a couple months after our adoption was finalized.   BUT God knew all about it and that we as a family, needed this time.  He needed time to really attach to us, and to recognize us as his Mommy and Daddy.  So God gave us 6 months, together, here in a small apartment, in a new town in Ecuador, where we hardly knew anyone, so we had that time to just be together!   I look back on that time, and wish I had been more content, in just trusting God to do everything right and in his perfect time, instead of being so frustrated with government red-tape, and all the "hold-ups" to get us to the States.

In 2010 God again, laid it upon our hearts to adopt two precious children.  Not babies this time, but a sweet girl of 6 and a little boy of 5.   We knew that they had "mild special needs"... we had met them, we were a little awed, overwhelmed, yet at the same time full of joyous anticipation at what God was doing in our lives and in our family.  I was 49 and my husband was 48...not the normal time one thinks about adding to their family, (unless it's grand kids! ;) )

Fast forward 4 1/2 years.   In lots of ways we have bonded beautifully into a wonderful family.  Yet there are holes and gaps and frustrations at times beyond words.   You know those moments when you realize that they are definitely a little bit more than "mildly affected" by their special needs.  When you asked 3 times point blank about your daughters heart condition, and were told that everything is completely fine now, only to find out that she actually has a 15mm hole between the top 2 chambers of her heart!  Then when you think it is all going to be fixed by a cath. procedure that will basically mean maybe 1 day or at the most 2 in the hospital, to be greeted with the news that she is going to have to undergo Open Heart Surgery.   Yeah, that was a hard day.   Or the day, just last week, when you are given the news that there's a good chance you only have a few more years where your little guy with CP will actually be able to learn new things, and then he will most likely plateau and then at some point his physical body being tired of all the extra work it has had to do, to just do the most basic things, like sitting up, walking etc. will start to decline and about the same time his brain too.   Yeah, I have to say, that was a really hard day!  Right up there on the same level as the kick in the stomach when we heard our little girl was going to have to have open heart surgery.   I'm not saying all of this to blame anyone, or give the impression that we are giving up, and accepting the inevitable will happen.  No!  I am more determined now than ever, to do everything I can possibly do, to see that whatever God has in store for these 2 precious kids comes to pass.   To be honest, I'm so thankful for the insight and guidance, that we have gotten.  I feel like I was walking around in the dark for 4 years, trying to do the right thing, with no idea what that was!   Thankfully God again in his great mercy and grace, guided our steps many times, to things, that others might say we just fell upon by accident.   BUT, one thing I've learned, THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS WITH GOD!

One of the things we had never realized was that both of our special needs kids while they had adapted beautifully in many ways, and had learned our family "rules" and were really pretty well behaved kids, they both were struggling some emotionally.  Things that we would take for granted that they understood, they had NO idea what that meant.  They knew the words and could even repeat the words, but they really had no understanding of what the words actually meant!  When a child is born into our family, we take time to teach that child almost from the beginning, what we expect.  By the time the child is a year old-18months, when they start to reach for something, we can say, "no" and while they may not choose to "obey" at that moment, they will usually stop and look at you and they KNOW what you want....

This whole idea really floored my husband and I, as we would say to ourselves, well, they've lived with us for 4 years, so they surely know by now what we are expecting and wanting from them...  BUT, we are fighting against all those early experiences from the first 4 to 6 years of their lives!  Which when push comes to shove, those are the experiences that they draw from.   A concrete example of this, is that my daughter, is completely fluent in English and actually prefers to speak English over Spanish now.  Even playing in English, watching TV in English etc.  Yet when she was in the NICU the night after her Open Heart Surgery, and barely conscious the language she was speaking to me was Spanish!

One of the big things we are working on these days in school with our Special Needs kids, is our emotions.   What does it mean, what does the Bible say about them, what does that really mean in our  day to day life.   We are going to be spending a lot of time talking about our responses to situations and deciding was that a Christ-like response or Not a Christ-like response?

This morning we were working on anger.   We used Psalm 37:8-9,

Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath!

    Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.

9 

For the evildoers shall be cut off,

    but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land. 

We took the verses apart, phrase by phrase.  Talked about exactly what that meant... wrote out 5 things that the kids thought God was saying to them from these verses...

1.  Control your anger.

2.  Get rid of wrath or hatred.

3.  Don't be upset, it only makes trouble.

4.  There are bad consequences for sin/anger.

5.  Those who trust God to take care of their problems will reap good.

The next thing that we did was talk about the fact that often we get angry, because things happen, that we don't like, but if we are trusting God and believe that He loves us and that he is always working things for our good, then we can let go of our anger.  We have to learn to trust God to take care of our problems.  

The last activity for this project today, was to write out some things they were worrying about, that they wanted to turn over to God... to actively part that God would take these worries away.  To every time these worries came to mind, they would be reminded that God loves them!  That God has NEVER left them and that God will NEVER leave them!  The response to this activity blew me and my husband away!  Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that my little guy was still, after 4 years, concerned about these things...  

Here is his list, word for word, as he told it to me:

1.  That you and Daddy will stop loving me.

2.  That you guys will take me back to the orphanage.

3.  That I will not be able to grow up. (on questioning exactly what he meant,  it came out that he is afraid, he won't be able to grow up and be like other people!)  

Yeah, the results of abandonment, are long lasting.  The fear of being rejected or abandoned again, is at times almost overwhelming.  AND don't ever try to convince me that special needs kids don't realize they are different and don't have a longing deep down in their heart to just be "normal" like everyone else!   

TCK's

One of my grown daughters just wrote a post about some struggles she is having, in adapting and adjusting to life in small town USA.  In her post she is brutally honest about her feelings and also how she has come realize that she has not been fair or just in them.

With some back and forth with all 3 of the grown girls, my oldest, shared a set of blog articles that she had come across at one time, and how they had been very convicting and had helped her in her adjustment back to the US.

For me, the articles articulated some things that I had already known, but hadn't put into context.  They also pointed out some things to me that I had never really thought about.  The one on hypocrisy, is brutal.  While I don't think my husband or I have crossed that line, at least not continually, I can see how, snatches of things said, or even things not fully explained, can from a child's perspective be conceived as such.  WOW!  Very convicting.

The article on leaving and loss, was amazing!  I have personally experienced so much of this, BUT my kids, so much more!

So if you are truly interested in TCK's (Third Culture Kids), and would like to understand where they are coming from and some of  things that have shaped their thinking, (be that misconceptions or truth), I recommend you check out these articles.

Lies MK's Believe

Blessings to you and yours,
Joy

The Journey of Waiting

Here is a link to my latest post on my adoption blog, The Journey of Waiting . Hope you enjoy it!

Leaving the Baby...

My family and I are preparing for a 6 month furlough in the US.  That is always an exciting time for Missionaries!  You look forward to being back "home".  Eating at your favorite restaurants, (let's see Teddy boy is looking forward to Sonic and Ryans) ;)  Shopping at Walmart, and visiting with family!  We have 7 grand babies we are waiting to see, 2 of which I haven't met yet and 3 of which Tony hasn't met!!

But, there is also the other side... when we head to the States we are leaving "our baby" behind.  This baby we have labored over, and nurtured for the last 7 years.  We were there when it started on solid food, and when it took its first faltering steps.  We have prayed over and doctored when it was sick, and we have rejoiced to see it healthy and strong.   When you leave your baby, you always wonder, if those with in whose hands you have left it, will care for it the same as you.  Will they love it, will they nurture it, will they weep over it and rejoice with it?

Paul worried about the same things, and he wrote to the Philippian in church in Philippians 2:19-20, But I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timotheus shortly unto you, that I also may be of good comfort, when I know your state. For I have no man likeminded, who will naturally care for your state.

But he also said in Philippians 1:6, Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

So as we prepare for our furlough, and prepare our church family, (our baby) to stand alone without us for 6 months, we covet your prayers.  Prayers for us to have wisdom and guidance as we prepare to leave.  Prayers for the work here, that God, who has begun a good work would complete it!  We know that this church isn't ours, it is God's.  We are trusting him to continue to do His work in and through it during these months.  Pray with us not only that it "survives" our absence but that it flourishes without us!  That it grows and abounds in the grace of God!    

Blessings,
Joy

Heart to Heart

Storms are going to come. That’s
certainly encouraging isn’t it? What a
great way to start a blog post! But
this is what the Lord has been teaching
me lately. Storms are going to
come, and they are to mold me and
make me into the image of Christ.
Romans 8:28, is still true. God is still
in control and his ways are not our
ways nor are his thoughts our
thoughts. You know everything God
does is at the precise time! This
week in our Sunday School class we
were studying Galatians 4. A phrase
in verse 4 stuck out to me, “But when
the fullness of time was come, God
sent forth his Son…” You know there
was no accident or chance involved
in the time that Christ was born. It
was all exactly at the moment that
God had planned from the beginning
of time. Wiersbe says that it refers to
that time when the world was providentially
ready for the birth of a Savior.
Besides the fact that the world
was religiously bankrupt and there
was a spiritual hunger everywhere,
the Roman empire itself helped in the
preparation…there were roads leading
everywhere, and there was a
common language. So many things
that come into play. Everything was
planned to the smallest detail. The
really neat thing about this, is that the
same God is still in control today. He
is still working and moving. He is
never early or late, but always right
on time! He is right there in the
middle of the storm. He has promised
never to leave us, and his timing
is always absolutely perfect! So
whatever you are facing in your life.
I pray that you find hope and peace in
knowing that God does all things well.
That he has a reason and a purpose.

Feeling Blessed!!

I am so thankful for my sweet girls and their husbands, who made an effort today, to make sure I knew that even though we were miles apart that they loved me!  I'm thankful for the 5 precious grand babies that the Lord has given us and the baby that is on it's way.  I'm also thankful for the 2 others that are waiting for us all in heaven!!  Sometimes I remember how much I longed to be a part of "big family" when I was a little girl, and I know that God has given me the desires of my heart!!  Then as if that wasn't enough, he blessed us with the opportunity to do it all over again!!  Some days I will admit, is can be a little overwhelming.  Sometimes doubts rise up in my heart.  Yet as I've mentioned before, we KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that God did this!  There really is no other way that it could have happened.  I know that God only gives good and perfect gifts to his children!  I know that his plans for us are the very best.  So when I think I don't have the energy to finish the day...I just stop and remind myself that he doesn't call us to do anything that he doesn't equip us to do.   Then he always sends those special moments our way, to lift us up and remind us that his ways really are perfect!!  My sweet daughter praying and thanking God for "this family!"  Matthew, saying, "I love you,  Mom!"  I got 3 very special hand made cards this morning.  Both,  Matthew and Carla worked very hard to make me beautiful, Mother's day cards, with pictures of our family.   

Then there is Teddy, who wasn't too much into drawing pictures, but wrote me this letter. He really blew me away when I opened his card, and saw the time he had taken to write this out!  Especially considering how much he hates to write! Here it is exactly has he wrote it...

"Happy Mother's Day, I'm so glad that you decided to adopt me.  So that you could be my Mom.  If you hadn't adopted me I wouldn't have met you and dad. Or my sisters or any of my family!  And I wouldn't have got to do any of the fun fun things you do for me like going to the USA or playing games and everything.  I'm glad your my mother and I'm your son.  And it's good to know that I'll be your son forever and you'll love me for ever, no matter what.  You are a great mother.

Love, Teddy"

I am so blessed! 

Advice for the Bride to Be...

What a wonderful day we have had here in Manta!  Over 150 people attended services this morning.  One lady accepted Christ after the service!!  We had over 30 in the Ladies Sunday School Class.  There was a great turn out for Mercedes Shower this afternoon.  What a blessing to see the ladies coming together to be a blessing and encouragement to one another.

Here is the devotion I shared with the Ladies this afternoon.  It is not completely original with me. :-) There are 3 thoughts that I believe will help us to be the wives and mothers that God wants us to be.

1.  Be a woman of the Word.  Make time in the Word of God a priority in your life.  How easy it is to get distracted from that all important time.  The cares of the day come in upon us, and we think, I'll do this in a little while, but the fact is if we don't make it a priority it will get pushed aside and soon forgotten.  We would never expect our family to go through the week and only have 1 meal to sustain them.  Yet how often do Christians think that they can make it through the week, with just a meal or two in the Word of God?

2.  Don't be a constant drip! (Proverbs 27:15)  You know it's easy to let the cares of the day settle over us like a little black cloud, but your husband doesn't need a "drippy rain cloud" for a wife! Instead of being a contentious or quarrelsome wife, we should be like the wise woman of Proverbs 14:1, that builds up our home and family.  The crown of our husband, as Proverbs 12:4 says.   We should use our words to build up and encourage our husbands to be everything that God has created them to be.   We can either be the Proverbs 31 woman, whose husband safely trusts in, or we can be the wife, whose husband runs away to the roof top to escape her, as in Proverbs 21:9.

3.  Glory in Service.   The life of a wife and mother are wrapped up in the mundane tasks of the everyday!  Doing the safe things over and over and over again...There are always dirty clothes to wash, always bathrooms to clean, beds to make, floors to sweep, dishes to wash and meals to cook.  1 Cor. 13:13, says that now abide, faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.  The Biblically based home will consist of all three of these, but the greatest is love.  Love is not to be understood just as a sentiment or emotion, but rather self-sacrificing obedience to the Word of God, with the whole heart.   One of the most important things we can learn to do as a wife and mother, is to learn to serve with our whole hearts in love.  To realize that when we are washing dishes, or doing laundry or cleaning our house, we are serving the Lord, and bringing honor and glory to Him.   Learn to work and serve in love.  Not for your self, but for the love of God and family.   That's what the Christian life is all about...serving in love.   Col. 3:17, reminds us to do everything with our whole heart, serving the Lord!

What's in Your Hands?

Mark 6:35-42

In this story, the disciples were tired. They really wanted to be left alone. That’s why they had all gone across the lake in the first place! Yet when they got there they were met by a multitude. Knowing Jesus as they did, they resigned themselves to trying to maintain crowd control, while the Master taught. When it started getting late, their patience with it all had come to an end. They went to Jesus and said, “Send them away, to go into the …villages and buy themselves something to eat.” But Jesus responded, “You give them something to eat.”

Have you ever felt God telling you to do something, and you know that in many ways it just didn’t make sense? At the beginning of 2010, that is where Tony and I found ourselves. I mean, who in their right mind, at almost 50 years of age would want to adopt 2 children, and take on that responsibility of making a home and family for them? We already have added 1 young son to the mix, just trying to do all that he needs, wears us out. I’m sure people will hear of this and think we are just nuts!

Yet here I sit. Knowing with all my heart that this is the road we are to walk down. It really doesn’t matter if it makes sense to anyone else. It really doesn’t matter if it even makes sense to me! The only thing that matters is that I know beyond a shadow of doubt that this is what God has for us to do. 
So when the frustrations come, and the weariness is about to overtake me, I look back, and I trace the hand of God in every step that we have taken along this road. Every time when doors could have closed, but instead they were flung open wide. Why? Because that was the hand of God! God is faithful, and when he calls us to something, he gives us everything we need to accomplish it! All we have to do is be willing to take that step. 1 Thessalonians 5:24 says, “He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.”

The disciples already had everything they needed to feed the crowd, they just needed the faith to step up and use what had been placed in their hands.

What is God asking you to do? Is there a multitude he is asking you to feed? Are you willing to give back to him, what he has placed in your hands and watch him do it?

"Dear Father, Your ways are not our ways, and your thoughts are not our thoughts. I come to you today, and place my life in your hands and everything that you have given to me. Use me to bring glory and honor to your name. You have called me to this and you are faithful, you will surely do it."

Can I trust God to guard my heart?

About a year ago, I was approached by a friend and asked to participate along with many other ladies to write a couple devotionals for a book for the ladies of her church. It was a surprise Christmas gift for the ladies. Here is the first one. I hope it is a blessing to you.


Philippians 4:4-7

How many times have I read those verses? Hundreds? Thousands? Yet this night they jumped off the page at me. What made this time, August 31, 2002, any different from all the other times? God was speaking to my heart!

Tony and I had made the decision to adopt a baby here in Ecuador. We were in the middle of all the paperwork, and jumping through the hoops to become approved as adoptive parents. At the same time all of this was happening, a very good friend of ours had started a foundation for abandoned babies. I was going several times a week to volunteer my time. There was a little baby boy, just 3 months old, that I fell in love with. I was so afraid of stepping up and letting myself become involved with him, though, because I was afraid of it not working out and having my heart broken. So this night, as I couldn't sleep because I was wrestling with all of these thoughts, I got up and took my Bible and began reading. When I came to these very familiar verses, I stopped…reread them, then read them again. It was almost as if God had spoken out loud to my heart! What did he say? "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

God was telling me, to step out, to trust my heart to him! I remember reading the verses a few more times, and then praying and just turning the whole situation over to the Lord. I closed my Bible and went back to bed, at complete peace, that God was at work in this situation, and no matter what happened, I could trust my heart to him.

God didn't allow us to adopt baby James. But he did use that experience to prepare my heart to be ready to accept the baby he had for us. You see, I had set my heart on adopting a little baby. But God had a toddler in mind for our family. So in his grace and mercy, he allowed me to experience all the special baby times, with Baby James. I was there when he ate his first cereal, I was there, and found his first tooth. I was there, when he took his first steps. By the time we knew that James wasn't the baby God had for us, we were more than ready and emotionally prepared to accept the precious little 14 month old baby God did have for us!

Are you trusting God with your heart?

"Dear Father, as we go through this day, help each one of us to trust you completely. To take our concerns and worry to your feet and leave them there with you. May we trust you to fill us with your peace that passes all understanding and guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Do my attitudes reflect Christ?

Been thinking a lot lately about our attitudes and how they affect others.  Did you ever think that how you respond to circumstances that come your way,  may make the difference in someone coming to know Christ or not?   So often it seems that I forget that I may very well be the only Jesus someone will encounter.  They may base their whole idea of Christianity on what they see in my life!  WOW!!  I am to be growing each day to be more like Christ.  The whole goal is that my life become a mirror of Jesus.   So that got me to thinking...

When Jesus stepped from the portals of heaven into a manger in Bethlehem, do you think there were any complaints lodged with the innkeeper about the lack of a good heating or air ventilation system in the barn?  What about when they wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in the manger, do you think the innkeeper heard about the musty odor and smell of hay or the roughness of the clothes?   What about later as he ministered, do you think he complained about the rolls and fish not being cooked the way his mother cooked them back home?  Do you think he ever griped because the coffee wasn't  as hot as he preferred it?  Have you ever been out with someone at a restaurant and they griped and complained about everything and basically just gave the waitress total grief and then as you were getting ready to leave, along with the less than normal amount of tip, they laid a tract down with their church's name on it?   OUCH!!  I have thought to myself, if I was that waitress, I would want to run as far away from that church as I could get! Yet, I know that I am guilty of the same kind of things.  How often have I thought to myself, "well I have rights!  I'm not letting them walk all over me!  I paid good money for that!"  

Look at what Jesus said in Luke 22:24-27, And there was also a strife among them, which of them should be accounted the greatest. And he said unto them, The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and they that exercise authority upon them are called benefactors. But ye shall not be so: but he that is greatest among you, let him be as the younger; and he that is chief, as he that doth serve.  For whether is greater, he that sitteth at meat, or he that serveth? Is not he that sitteth at meat? But I am among you as he that serveth.

Here is the King of Glory, worthy of all praise and honor, washing the dirty feet of his disciples!   He wasn't complaining because none of them had offered to wash his feet.  He wasn't saying how awful the place was because they didn't even supply help to make sure everyone had clean feet before they came to recline at dinner.   I mean you would have thought it was the least that they could have done, knowing that Jesus was using their upper room!   What was the matter with them, anyway?  What was wrong with the disciples that they were sitting there with the Master, but more concerned about their place and honor than whether or not he was comfortable?  

Can you imagine how the disciples must of felt when Jesus got up and took off his outer robe, and put on a towel like a humble servant and began to wash their feet?  Peter's response can give you a good clue...But, Jesus didn't berate them for not serving him.  He simply used the time to teach by example.  

You know when we gripe and complain about the service or actions of others, we are not giving God the glory...We are dulling the mirror, so that it can't reflect to others the King of Kings!   

Paul wrote in Colossians 4:4-6, That I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak.  Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time.  Let your speech be always with grace (my note here...that means let my speech be gracious, a result of the divine influence on my heart and its reflection in my life;  Let it be a benefit or gift to others; Let it be pleasurable and thanks worthy!)  seasoned with salt, that you may know how ye ought to answer every man.   

Then Peter writes in 1 Peter 3:8-11, Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful(tenderhearted), be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.

Paul wrote in Titus 3:1-2,  Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work, To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men. 

Oh that I would have that "meek(mild, gentle, humble) and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."(1Peter 3:4) I've been called to share Christ through my life. Not just my words.  Oh, I believe that it is important to be ready at every opportunity the Lord presents to share with my words, the blessed gospel, but that isn't enough!!  My life must reflect what he has done.  Peter tells us that an unsaved husband can be brought to Christ through the conduct of a believing wife, without her ever speaking a word!  (1 Peter 3:1-2)  I believe that is also the case not just for unbelieving husbands but for anyone.  My life, my reactions to all circumstances should be a reflection of my Savior.  I should be filled with the Peace of God that goes way beyond any earthly understanding, that it points people to my Savior!  When I interact with others, they should immediately be able to tell that I have something different...something that they are missing and want to have!  Peter says in 1 Peter 3:15, But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts:  and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear (humbleness and respect).  I get the idea from this verse that they are going to ask me!  Of course if I'm not living out my testimony, they won't be drawn to ask me anything, because they won't be able to see Christ through the dingy smudged mirror of my life.  

Have you ever tried to witness to someone to have them throw up some other Christian who wasn't living for God!  I know that is the devil and that he is trying to side track them from their need of a Savior by having them focus on the "Christian" with the bad testimony...but it also makes me so sad, I wonder if they will ever realize this side of glory the damage they have done to the cause of Christ by their actions.   How many times have I been that stumbling block?  

Oh Father, that you would cleanse me and create a clean heart within me!  Fill me with your peace and joy.  May I be known for that meek and quiet spirit, that brings pleasure to you!  Father, when I open my mouth, may my speech by gracious, pleasing and honoring to you.  My desire above all others is that my life would be a clear reflection of You.  Father, speak with my mouth, love with my heart, see with my eyes, touch with hands, and go with my feet!   In Jesus Name, Amen.

--
Joy Anzalone
Manta, Ecuador

Bear with one another, Be thankful!

God has gifted each of us in such incredible ways!  It is a joy to see the diversity with which he has created us.  He has equipped each of us with the gifts that we need to do his work in the place where he has put us.

Col. 3:12-15

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long suffering;

Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.

As God's chosen ones, we are to strive to be holy, merciful, full of kindness, meekness.  To be humble and patient with each other, bearing with one another and forgiving, just as Christ forgave us!  Then, on top of all that, we are to put on love which binds everything together. Oh! and by the way, be thankful! 

I think those verses are so cool.  I was reading them in my devotion time this morning.  I love the idea of love binding everything together.  You know when you bake and mix eggs in a batter, you do it to bind the ingredients together...Love is what holds it all together.  Because of God's love for us, and our love for Him and one another, we can be merciful, kind, humble, choosing to put others ahead of ourselves.  We can be long-suffering, and patient with one another...Bear with one another, forgive one another.  It's all possible because of love.   

Then after we've put these into practice, we are also to let the peace of God rule in our hearts.  You would think that would be the easiest, but I recognize that oftentimes I don't let the peace of God rule in my heart.  How often I get "stressed" by all the things on my "to do list".  Would I snap at my children or husband, if the peace of God was ruling in my heart?  

To close it all off...on top of all of that, Be thankful!!  You know I find when I am filled with a heart of gratitude, the little things don't bother me.  It's all covered.  The focus isn't on me.  It's all about Him and all that He is doing and has done!  The attitude of gratitude will change your life!  

Blessings!

Joy   

Heart to Heart

Have your heard the song, Trust His Heart ? The chorus says, "God is too wise to be mistaken, God is too good to be unkind, When you don't understand, when you can't see his plan, when you can't trace his hand, Trust His heart."

I have been teaching a Ladies Bible Study at church. We are using Beth Moore's book, Jesus the One and Only. Last week, she asked the question in the book, "Do you believe that God is sovereign?" Then she asked, "Do you believe God is also sweet?" (kind, loving, good) Anyway that brought the above song to my mind. Isn't it wonderful that not only do we have a sovereign God, who we can trust, because we KNOW He is in control, but He also LOVES us!

Sometimes as parents we have to "ask" our children to do things that they don't really want to do... unpleasant things... maybe it's get a shot from the doctor, or take "yucky" medicine because they are sick. We do these things because we love them. We don't get any joy out of watching them suffer or go through these things, but we know that it is for their good. It is what is best for them... Well, I love each of my children beyond words! Many of you know how much I have struggled adjusting to the girls being gone, not just gone, but so far away, too. Well, as much as I love them... It doesn't even come close to how muchGod loves them or how much He loves each one of us! That is pretty hard to comprehend!

This week, I am going to ask you to be praying for me. I am excited about our trip to Quito. The opportunity to visit with friends and just the change of pace for our family. But along with the good things... Just pray that I will allow God to be incontrol of my attitudes, my heart and especially my mouth! :-) I know that He never allows anything without a purpose!

Thanks for letting me share my heart with you!
Joy