Going Gluten Free

Over a year ago, I read the book, Grain Brain by David Perlmutter, MD. To be honest it intrigued me and in talking and sharing with my husband, we decided to give it a try.  There are many points to the book, supplements, exercise, sleep patterns, and diet.  I will be honest, that I really did feel better eating less gluten, BUT, my husband, did not feel that it made much difference with him, and living in a country, where there is not a lot of "pre-made" stuff, including flour mixes, etc. it was just all a bit overwhelming.   

After our friends were here from Knoxville, and we spent a lot of time talking about different things that might be a help to our kids, especially our youngest who has CP and a few other issues.  Tony and I decided that we would give the GF diet a try for him.  We were told that for some kids it makes a huge difference and for some it doesn't seem to make any difference.  We also were told, and I remembered reading this in the book mentioned above, that it was important to give it at least 3 to 6 months, before giving up.   (Not saying that it will help his CP, but, maybe learning issues and behavior issues that he deals with along with the CP)

So here again, I am on a quest to figure out how to do this, and get a good group of recipes that will work.  I don't mind "experimenting" in the kitchen, BUT, when the temps are in the high 80's low 90's it isn't any fun to spend time in there sweating away, to have your bake goods taste like saw dust, or your bread be gummy in the middle. ;)  There are also a lot of flours we can get, but many that we can't... so trying to figure out what works as a good substitute and what doesn't is a big deal.  

So here are some things I am learning...

1. Gluten free flours don't weigh the same, (as each other, nor do they weigh the same as wheat flour), so it works better to use recipes that call for weight instead of measuring by the cup.  That is hard for me, because in the US, most recipes are written using Cup measurements and not weights. hmmm.... if I want to substitute for some of my recipes, I guess, I'm going to need to measure out a cup of wheat flour and weigh it. 
(Thanks to my friend, Kendra, for reminding me about flour weights, today! ;) 

2. Gluten free flours need to be mixed up... you need to use more than 1 kind you can just replace a cup of wheat flour with say the same weight of rice flour....  The big deal right now then for me, is finding some recipes for some "flour mixes" that will work.

3.  Chick Peas, make the most amazing cakes, brownies and muffins!!   Who would have thought?!  I know if you are reading this and you've never tried anything like this, you are going "yuck!  Who wants hummus brownies?!"  I have found some of the most amazing recipes that use NO flour, but use blended chick peas, and NO ONE has known the difference.  I have pinned a lot of them on my "Gluten Free" board on Pinterest, so if you are interested check them out.  (https://www.pinterest.com/manabita/gluten-free-recipes/ )

I am still on my quest to find a good sandwich bread, but it is coming little by little.  

Besides going gluten free, Little Bud is taking a Fish oil capsule everyday, (wanting 300 to 400mg of DHA) and 1 teaspoon of coconut oil.   Both of these things have been shown to help build "new pathways" in the brain, and boost memory, so who knows. I realize we may be grasping at straws here, BUT on the other hand you never know until you try.   

Thank you for all the prayers and encouragement you have past our way.  We appreciate it so much!   If you do have a good GF sandwich bread recipe, I would love to give it a try.  Please don't share it though, if it calls for specific flour blends you have to purchase, as those are not available to us here in Ecuador.  ;)

Blessings to you and yours!

Joy

Abandonment... It' as BIG deal!

I never thought much about abandonment, or the consequences of it, before we adopted our children. I lived a very stable and secure childhood, and I believe that I probably took that incredible blessing for granted.  Even after dating and marrying my husband, who had a few rough patches in his early life, the meaning of abandonment and the lasting affects it has on one who has suffered it, never really got on my radar screen.

In 2003, we had the amazing blessing of adopting our first son.  He was a beautiful baby of 14 months, and I was totally oblivious to the fact that just the facts of his first 14 months of life had left indelible scars that we would never be able to pretend, just didn't happen.   We had read no books.  Why would we?  We had pretty successfully raised 3 daughters already, so felt pretty experienced in this whole "parenting" role.  NEVER in my wildest dreams did I anticipate the scars that abandonment had left on his little heart and mind.

We worked hard, to understand...truth be told, God in his great mercy and grace, guided our steps even when we didn't know we needed guiding.  Big example, we had no idea, about the importance of family bonding, and had made plans to return to the States for a year furlough a couple months after our adoption was finalized.   BUT God knew all about it and that we as a family, needed this time.  He needed time to really attach to us, and to recognize us as his Mommy and Daddy.  So God gave us 6 months, together, here in a small apartment, in a new town in Ecuador, where we hardly knew anyone, so we had that time to just be together!   I look back on that time, and wish I had been more content, in just trusting God to do everything right and in his perfect time, instead of being so frustrated with government red-tape, and all the "hold-ups" to get us to the States.

In 2010 God again, laid it upon our hearts to adopt two precious children.  Not babies this time, but a sweet girl of 6 and a little boy of 5.   We knew that they had "mild special needs"... we had met them, we were a little awed, overwhelmed, yet at the same time full of joyous anticipation at what God was doing in our lives and in our family.  I was 49 and my husband was 48...not the normal time one thinks about adding to their family, (unless it's grand kids! ;) )

Fast forward 4 1/2 years.   In lots of ways we have bonded beautifully into a wonderful family.  Yet there are holes and gaps and frustrations at times beyond words.   You know those moments when you realize that they are definitely a little bit more than "mildly affected" by their special needs.  When you asked 3 times point blank about your daughters heart condition, and were told that everything is completely fine now, only to find out that she actually has a 15mm hole between the top 2 chambers of her heart!  Then when you think it is all going to be fixed by a cath. procedure that will basically mean maybe 1 day or at the most 2 in the hospital, to be greeted with the news that she is going to have to undergo Open Heart Surgery.   Yeah, that was a hard day.   Or the day, just last week, when you are given the news that there's a good chance you only have a few more years where your little guy with CP will actually be able to learn new things, and then he will most likely plateau and then at some point his physical body being tired of all the extra work it has had to do, to just do the most basic things, like sitting up, walking etc. will start to decline and about the same time his brain too.   Yeah, I have to say, that was a really hard day!  Right up there on the same level as the kick in the stomach when we heard our little girl was going to have to have open heart surgery.   I'm not saying all of this to blame anyone, or give the impression that we are giving up, and accepting the inevitable will happen.  No!  I am more determined now than ever, to do everything I can possibly do, to see that whatever God has in store for these 2 precious kids comes to pass.   To be honest, I'm so thankful for the insight and guidance, that we have gotten.  I feel like I was walking around in the dark for 4 years, trying to do the right thing, with no idea what that was!   Thankfully God again in his great mercy and grace, guided our steps many times, to things, that others might say we just fell upon by accident.   BUT, one thing I've learned, THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS WITH GOD!

One of the things we had never realized was that both of our special needs kids while they had adapted beautifully in many ways, and had learned our family "rules" and were really pretty well behaved kids, they both were struggling some emotionally.  Things that we would take for granted that they understood, they had NO idea what that meant.  They knew the words and could even repeat the words, but they really had no understanding of what the words actually meant!  When a child is born into our family, we take time to teach that child almost from the beginning, what we expect.  By the time the child is a year old-18months, when they start to reach for something, we can say, "no" and while they may not choose to "obey" at that moment, they will usually stop and look at you and they KNOW what you want....

This whole idea really floored my husband and I, as we would say to ourselves, well, they've lived with us for 4 years, so they surely know by now what we are expecting and wanting from them...  BUT, we are fighting against all those early experiences from the first 4 to 6 years of their lives!  Which when push comes to shove, those are the experiences that they draw from.   A concrete example of this, is that my daughter, is completely fluent in English and actually prefers to speak English over Spanish now.  Even playing in English, watching TV in English etc.  Yet when she was in the NICU the night after her Open Heart Surgery, and barely conscious the language she was speaking to me was Spanish!

One of the big things we are working on these days in school with our Special Needs kids, is our emotions.   What does it mean, what does the Bible say about them, what does that really mean in our  day to day life.   We are going to be spending a lot of time talking about our responses to situations and deciding was that a Christ-like response or Not a Christ-like response?

This morning we were working on anger.   We used Psalm 37:8-9,

Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath!

    Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.

9 

For the evildoers shall be cut off,

    but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land. 

We took the verses apart, phrase by phrase.  Talked about exactly what that meant... wrote out 5 things that the kids thought God was saying to them from these verses...

1.  Control your anger.

2.  Get rid of wrath or hatred.

3.  Don't be upset, it only makes trouble.

4.  There are bad consequences for sin/anger.

5.  Those who trust God to take care of their problems will reap good.

The next thing that we did was talk about the fact that often we get angry, because things happen, that we don't like, but if we are trusting God and believe that He loves us and that he is always working things for our good, then we can let go of our anger.  We have to learn to trust God to take care of our problems.  

The last activity for this project today, was to write out some things they were worrying about, that they wanted to turn over to God... to actively part that God would take these worries away.  To every time these worries came to mind, they would be reminded that God loves them!  That God has NEVER left them and that God will NEVER leave them!  The response to this activity blew me and my husband away!  Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that my little guy was still, after 4 years, concerned about these things...  

Here is his list, word for word, as he told it to me:

1.  That you and Daddy will stop loving me.

2.  That you guys will take me back to the orphanage.

3.  That I will not be able to grow up. (on questioning exactly what he meant,  it came out that he is afraid, he won't be able to grow up and be like other people!)  

Yeah, the results of abandonment, are long lasting.  The fear of being rejected or abandoned again, is at times almost overwhelming.  AND don't ever try to convince me that special needs kids don't realize they are different and don't have a longing deep down in their heart to just be "normal" like everyone else!   

Taking Baby Steps...

Our family had the blessing of hosting two very special ladies last week.  The purpose of  their trip was to help us figure out how we could best meet the needs of our special needs kids.  To look at what we were doing and tweak things to help us get these guys on to the next level and to create an environment where they can grow to be all that God intends them to be.

When you live in a 3rd world country and in one of the smaller cities in that country, you are limited by what resources and support is available.  Add to that the language difference, and you limit it even more.  This all means that basically anything we decide to do is going to be implemented by my husband or myself.  We both have a desire and a commitment to our family, but there is a limited number of hours in the day, and at our age a limited amount of energy.

One of the big blessings to me that came out of our time last week, was the idea that we aren't talking about huge changes.  Each idea, is more than doable, and although they are small, they have the potential of making a tremendous difference in our family life, and also in the development of our children.

My children have been trained to use a timer, for their school tasks and they also use it presently for video game time.  So we are going to take that habit that they have already learned and expand it to be used throughout their day.  I made each of the younger ones a chart with their daily schedule and they will use their timers to go through their day.  They even have a "Saturday/Vacation Day at home" schedule.  :)  That may seem like a lot of structure to you, (I know a few years ago it would have to me, too!) BUT one thing I've learned about working with Special Needs kids, is that they THRIVE on structure.  Week-ends and Holidays are always times of struggle as is unplanned afternoons and evenings.  I have known for some time that if I would just bite the bullet and make a plan for those times, things would go much better for the kids.  YET, I wanted a "break" and didn't see how in the world to do it without being right there present over seeing everything, from early morning, until they went to bed.   So this is a way to give them the structure they need, while at the same time, freeing me up a little.    I have no idea if it will work, or how well it will work.  I'm sure that their will be some "tweaking" over the next weeks.

The kids were very excited when they saw their charts and wanted to know if they got to start using them tomorrow!  So here is the first "baby step" we are starting tomorrow. :)

Little Bud's daily schedule.

Special Days/Saturday's at home schedule.

This is Little Bud's independent school work.

The Princess' daily schedule.

Special Days/Saturdays at home Schedule.

Here is my Princess' school schedule.

Our Chore Charts