Behind the Scenes...

Have you ever scrolled through social media, and seen all the different photos posted of other families celebrations and thought, "Man, they are amazing!  I don't know how they have it so together!  I wish I could be more like that... they even have decorations, and everything!" 

I have always been one that likes to make a "big deal", about any celebration, holiday, birthday whatever.  Yesterday when I posted our little family Valentine's Party, I got a few really nice comments, and some "wow" faces.  But, I got to thinking as I was looking through my "photo album" last night, that it only told "part of the story".   

Today, I'm going to give you the other side.  

When we went to Ecuador back in 1991, (yeah, I'm that old!)  I took some "party decorations"... paper table clothes, "Happy Birthday" banners, etc.  Holiday napkins...  you get the picture. Everytime, I used the table clothes, I would cover them with clear plastic, and when we were done, I would carefully, fold them up and put them back in my "drawer of holiday/birthday decorations".  

As the years, went by, we started being about to get more and more things in Ecuador, but I would often, still bring in decorations, and if they could possibly be re-used, even better.  Because of this, I always had a "stash" of stuff, (including cookie sprinkles for the different seasons...  We have been back in the US for almost 5 years. (that in itself is hard to believe! But that's for another post) I still find myself "forgetting to get things in time"... I went to get Valentine stuff for my Sunday School class 2 weeks ago and saw they were putting out Easter decorations, etc.  I thought then, "you need to get out and figure out what you want for the family".  But, of course other things happened, and I totally forgot to do that, until I was making my Grocery Pick-up order on Monday evening!! I realized, there was no more "Valentine Candy", no more "Valentine napkins or plates"...  I purchased some other candy, and food for a pretty simple, normal meal, and Tony picked it my order yesterday morning.  I then went looking in my "junk closet" through the bin, labeled, "other holidays, etc." Sure enough, I found 8 Valentine napkins, I had saved from last year, or the year before or the year before that! LOL!  I found a pack of un-opened dessert plates... I found 3 little Valentine balloons, and a couple red and pink clear glass bud vases, I had picked up at Dollar tree one year, along with a plastic heart shaped bowl...  I also found used, Valentine gift bags... (see that missionary, living in a 3rd world country, who says, " you know that is still in great shape, I can use that again"... still comes in handy! LOL! 

My sweet hubby braved the store, (30 feet in, to grab me some flowers and a balloon, for my Valentine)... 

The dinner was a joint effort with my Husband, daughter and myself.  The cake was a cake mix I had before and store bought frosting... (yes, homemade is better, but honestly no one noticed or cared. :) I spent about an hour or less, playing around with the table decor, grabbing flowers from vases around the house, to match... Fixing up "valentine gift bags or candy".   (the most expensive things I bought for the party, was probably the candy! LOL!) 

I just wanted to share, that it's not about having it "all together" or "being perfect"...  we literally threw that together yesterday, and I did other stuff, too.  It's about looking around at what you have, what can you do with it and how can you turn, the "ordinary" into something special.  

One of my daughters, shared about how she turned a dinner of French Toast and deli ham into a special Valentines Dinner when she was a new mom and didn't have extra... BUT, that has become a traditional Valentine dinner for them.  

Does it take some creativity, yep, you bet.  BUT, don't tell me you couldn't do it because you aren't creative.  Most of my ideas come from looking at Pinterest. (years ago it came from looking through magazines) I hardly every do what I see there, but it gives me ideas... I love trying to use what I already have, or if I need to purchase something, my favorite place for decorations, etc, is the Dollar Tree! LOL!  I'm not a person, that can go into a Dollar Tree, and get "inspired"... but if I've already been looking at different ideas, I can go in and find things, that I can make work.  Hope that made sense. LOL

So as you scroll through social media, and see other peoples fun celebrations, remember that there is always a "Behind the Scenes".  :)

Word of the Year

 Are you a goal setter?  What about the idea of picking a "word" for the year?  I have only been doing this for about 4 years now.  I don't know if there is a right or wrong way to go about it... and I don't always just have a word... sometimes it's a phrase.

So I have had,  "Be Present", "Fear Not", (used this one twice) & "Grace".  

This year, the word that kept coming to me was "Grow".  So I have decided to choose it as my main, over-all word, but add words for focus...

Grow Spiritually

Grow in Intentionality

Grow Creatively

Grow more Healthy

I have felt like for awhile since, moving back to the US suddenly, that I have spent most of the time, "surviving"...walking through the steps of grief...Grief of the loss of a parent, the loss of my life, my identity as I knew it.  Trying to help my family through the whole process too.  Just getting through from day to day, seemed like all that I could really do or focus on.  There seemed to be so little time, or energy to do other things. 

So this year, I have decided to pick up some things that I let slip...

I want to intentially, work on growing more organized, making better use of my time.  

To grow more creatively by taking time each week to do creative things that I have always enjoyed, but not just do them, learn and improve my skills in each area.  

To grow spritually, by taking more time to study and prepare to share with others.

I don't believe that God ever intended us to just "survive" through this life.  I know that as we go through hard times, that is enough, and He gives us grace and helps us through them, but that is not where we are suppose to stay.  I don't want to just "survive" I want to grow and thrive. 

As I work on my goals this month for the year, those are the thoughts that I want to be promient, in my mind.  Does this goal, help me to grow in these areas?

What Goals are you setting for this year? 

 Out with the Old...

2022, is over, and 2023 is set to begin.  There was something always a bit sad to me as a kid, when I would think about the year ending.  I'm not exactly sure why... maybe it was just this sense that I needed to stop and reflect on all that had been, before I could embrace the new.

Having spent 31 years as missionaries in Ecuador, I became quite familiar with the sadness of "good-byes" and the joy of the "hellos"...  I learned that it was natural to try and guard your heart from the pain of the "good-bye"... to "check-out", before, and not let yourself feel that hurt, but I also learned that if I allowed myself to do that, I missed out on so much.  So I worked hard to be "present" till the last "good-bye" was said, and yes, there was definitely pain and hurt, but there were way fewer regrets, because I knew that I had allowed myself to be loved and to love on the people that were there in that moment. 

So I have been applying those same principals to ending the old year and starting the new.  To be totally present and to remember.  So what are some of the highs and lows of 2022...

Our son Teddy moved to a city about 1 1/2 hours away from us.  I am so proud of him, as I have watched him grow and serve.  He is always learning and serving someone.  There are several stories I could share, but they are his stories so I will just leave it that I'm one proud Momma. 

We experienced what it was like to "go to court" and are so very thankful for the amazing Christian lawyer and Christian caseworkers God has placed in our path.

Tony made  trips to Peru and Belize, and both of us were able to make a trip to back to Manta!  I have to say that was definitely a highlight for me! 

We continued to teach 4th grade Sunday School at our church and that has been a joy.  There is just something exciting to see kids get excited about spiritual things and open up their eyes to the work of Missions around the world.

I have enjoyed sharing the teaching load for the Kids 4 Truth group time, and this past Fall Tony joined in taking care of the game time during Kids 4 Truth.

In March, Tony and I traveled to MO, where we had the priveledge of teaching in a Marriage Conference and we also enjoyed spending time with one of our daughters and her family.  (Nana, definitely loves all the time she can get with the grandkids!)

Our daughter, Ashley and her family came for a visit in August and that was fun time.  Love having time with my grandkids, but also love watching them having "cousin time" together.  The house was full, but it was a fun time.

Also in August our daughter, Carla, started her working at the church in the Mother's Day Out program. This was a big deal for her, and it has been such an amazing experience for her.  

In September we had the joy of traveling the Michigan, and visiting with long time friends, and partners. When we first became went to Ecuador in 1988, our sending church was in Michigan.  On the way back home we had the joy of stopping in Ohio and visiting with our daughter, Amanda and her family.  

In October, we got to make a short trip over to NC, to visit our good friends the, Wells!  Joe and Sylvia were like Grandparents to my kids while they were growing up in Ecuador.  It was such a joy to get to spend a couple days with them. 

The trip to Ecuador was in November... 

Then we had the blessing of hosting Thanksgiving with our family here.  

Christmas this year has been different, but that is ok.  I realized early on that without really realizing it we had moved from one season in our life to another. (Isn't it odd, how that happens and there isn't like a big warning or annoucement... you just realize things have changed.) Anyway, our daughter, Lexi and her family had the opportunity to travel to MO to be with Jonathan's family for Christmas, so we had Christmas with them on the 18th.  What I realized this year, was that we didn't have "kids" in the house anymore...  I know Teddy and Carla are just a year older than they were, but Teddy having moved out and Carla now 19 and working and Matt not here... so many of the traditions, (which I loved watching my older daughters do with their own children) were not really relevant anymore. So I realized I could do a couple different things.  I could be sad, and mourn the changes... I could just not do any of the things, that we had always done... or I could embrace the change, do things that I wanted to do, but also rest and focus on the joy of the season.  

I decided, I would decorate the house... honestly I did do less than I have in the past, but anyone coming in and looking would not realize it! Only if you saw the tubs of full decorations that weren't used would you know that I had chosen to do less. LOL!  I baked some cookies.  Not tons, but all our favorites.  I had my two Grandkids that live near us, here to do some baking and they decorated little gingerbread houses.  I decided, I wanted to make a gingerbread house, so I did, and then gifted it to some friends in our church that have 5 children.  I read my advent devotional everyday,  hung my ornament on the tree, and looked forward with anticipation to Christmas.  I honestly feel like it is one of the best Christmases we have had, Not that we ever really had any "bad Christmas"... but, I feel like we were able to greet this "new season" in our lives, with joy.  

There are so many other things that happened, that I didn't write about, but I feel like we had a really good year... ups and downs like everyone, but I feel very blessed to have been here to experience it, and to grow and learn.  

What are things things that jump out at you when you look back over 2022?  Can you count your blessings? Is the glass half full or half empty? 

You just never know...

Sorry to be silent for so long on here.  On Monday morning, March 26, my sweet mother, suffered a massive stroke at her home in Tennessee.  My 15 year old son, had just arrived on the Friday evening before, to spend 2 weeks with his grandparents to help out with some yard work and things they needed done.  The last thing she said to my son, as she was in the ambulance, but before they put the oxygen mask on her, was that she loved him and grandpa, and not to worry because the worst thing that could happen to her, was that she was going to go see Jesus.

On Wednesday morning about 9:00, My husband and 2 younger children and I, arrived to TN from Ecuador.  The next days are a total blur, as we stayed by her bedside, and prayed for God to preform a miracle for us.  He chose instead to take her home to glory about 7:00am, Tuesday Morning April 3. That really was a miracle for her, as she was now in the presence of her Lord and all her loved ones that had gone on before her. 

For the last months, my family and I have been in the States, on an "unexpected furlough", helping my Dad, and seeking God's will for our future.

This time has taught me so many things.  One of them is that grieving is definitely a process, and I don't believe you ever "get over" the loss of a dear one... you may be able to breathe a bit easier with time but I don't believe the sense of loss will ever really go away.  There are times I can think about my Mom and smile or even laugh at a sweet memory, and there are other times when I will be going about my day, and an unexpected memory will pop up and literally take my breath away, and I will have tears rolling down my cheeks.  I am sure people are looking at me strangely as I am sitting in the Captain D's with tears rolling down my cheeks because I just remembered that I had sat at "that table with Mom".... or the people that pass me in the grocery and wonder why I am crying in the produce section of the store.   It is just part of it, and it hits at the most "random" times, it seems.

I have learned that I have a choice.  I can be angry at God for "doing this to me", or I can choose to trust Him, as my Good, Good Father, and know that he is at work in my life and that all that he does is for my good and His Glory.  In saying that, I don't mean that losing my Mom was "good", BUT, I do believe that God uses it for His good in my life.  Everything He does is to bring me closer to him, and form me into the image of His Son.  I can either choose to accept that, and cooperate with him, or I can fight it.

People ask me all the time, "What are you going to do?" Well, I'm going to get up tomorrow morning, if God gives me tomorrow.  I am going to do what he places in front of me to do tomorrow, and I am going to walk the path he leads me on.  Do I know what tomorrow holds, or next week, or next month, or next year?  NO!  I do not.  If I have learned one thing through this whole time, it is this.  No one knows what a day will bring forth.  BUT, I do know, who, holds tomorrow, next week, next month and next year in his hand!  Praise God!!  And I CAN trust Him to lead and direct my steps.  I can trust that He has good plans for me and for my family and that as we wait on Him he will be that voice in our ear, saying, "This is the way, walk in it." 

Thank you for your prayers for my family during this time.